midwesternmage

Another evening with the pentagram ritual and basic workings.  Latter in this week I am going to perform another enochian working and see if I can make a bit more progress through the Seniors of Earth.  I find that my time spent in study is more and more enjoyable.  Now that the weather is nice I am able to sit out on my porch with my pipe and read either the Tree of Life or Highlights of the Tarot or The Book of Tokens.   The more I do it the more I enjoy studying outside.  Most of the work I do has to be done indoors.  As a ceremonial magician I like having control over my environment, not having to worry about the wind blowing my tablets or it ending up being too dark to see....also in the summer the AC is nice.

I ordered the BOTA tarot deck which came with highlights and have begun doing the tarot meditations with that deck with very good results.  The past three days have been contemplating the 1st key: The Magician.  PFC brought up an interesting point that the keys usually alternate with the opposites.  Key 0 The Fool isn't concerned with his surroundings or anything, really.  His head is in the clouds and conerned only with possibilities.  The Magician, on the other hand, is in a well tended garden.  He holds his wand high in the air with his right hand and points down in front of him with his left.  Drawing from the power on high that is above all of us and directing it to something that we want in front of us.  The magician is the picture of dilligence and willpower. 

Whenever I have a problem concentrating or before starting a project where I really need to concentrate.  I bring up the Magician before my mind's eye and focus on him for 5 or so seconds.  My resolve is there and I am able to plow right into it.  

Next in the lineup is Key 2, The High Priestess.

In other news I'm chugging through The Tree of Life by Regardie.  So far it is a great introduction to western Occultism and it's nice to read the works of someone who is so passionate about Magic.   The other book I'm reading is The Book of Tokens.  These are meditations on the Tarot by PFC.  I recommend this to anyone who is interested in the Tarot.  I use it as a devotional book to sit and read over a cup of tea in the evenings.

While out on errands today I stopped by the Half Priced Bookstore.  And today I found two fantastic treasures.  The Middle Pillar and The Tree of Life both by Israel Regardie.   And both for less than 5 bucks a pieces!   Huzzah!

So today I began looking over the bota meditations on the tarot.  from this point on I will not be using the Thoth deck for my meditations, only the bota deck.  This week I will have three contemplation sessions each lasting five minutes as I concentrate on Key 0 - The Fool.  I began the ritual this evening by a lesser banishing and then concentrating on the card for 5 minutes examining every part of it.

According to PFC, The fool is what we must all use in all of our endevers to gain greater freedom.  This thing we need to use can be called God or Goddess or Self or whatever.  The name really isn't important, it's just a label.  Key 0 is the most perfect and complete aspect of myself.  It is me which is above and beyond my personality, my thinking, and my mind. 

The fool has always made me happy.  Head looking forward, unaware of the abyss right before him and the trials that he will have to face.  He has his eyes on something greater in the distance.  Also I noticed he has room for another step showing that there is always room for more steps as we approach our goal.  According to PFC, we never come to the limit of our possiblities.  Normally I would say potential but I like the term possibilities in this case. 

Tonight I called another Enochian spirit from the elemental table of Earth.  This evening it was AHMLICU. 

After doing my opening work I recited the Fifth Call and then invoked AHMLICU and waited.  I felt a presence in the room but nothing at all strong.  I opened my eyes again, recited the call and the invocation but this time when I called AHMLICU I touched my wand to his name on the table.  I closed my eyes again and was almost sickenly dizzy.  It took me a moment to get a grip on myself and when I looked up and I saw a figure clad in white robes with radience behind him.  Instead of a head was the symbol for mercury.  I thought this was rather strange and realized he must be the Mecury senior of Earth.  (I looked this up after the working and confirmed it). 

I asked him who he was and he replied that he was AHMLICU.  He told me that he was the diligence in my life, that my studies pleased him and my thirst for knowledge was to be commended.  He said that I need not worry about the jobs I was applying for and that the situation would correct itself in a way that I would like.  He then told me to study his symbol.  Know its attributes and apply it in my life.  I must be careful of doubts and tricksters in my life including me.  Only by diligence will I be able to succeed in calling the others and succeed in life. 

At this point I was feeling a bit tired so I thanked him, dismissed him and closed the ceremony. 

I have to say again that the Enochian system feels strong to me.  My recitation of the words in the angelic tongue is one of the things I really just enjoy doing.  After the working I feel the work stay with me, as though I can still feel the experience in my body and I love it.  I'm always shocked when I meditate on my visions and see how accurate they are.  I try to read very little about the spirits before I summon them so that I can form my own opinions.  When I realized that the vision was correct in which senior he was.....I have the feeling that I really am doing The Great Work.

I was able to get myself a wand and several of the books I was looking for this weekend.  This evening I did a small ritual to consecrate the wand involving all of the elements and binding it to me.  I then performed the lesser banishing and did a tarot reading.  It's been a while since I've done a full reading but it was nice to get back into the swing of things.   I'm trying to get a new job at work and so I decided to do a reading on it.   Overall it's very positive but there is a definite warning in there about being overconfident.  I can see if I'm lax and arrogant this position will just pass me by, however if I continue to apply myself, study, work, all that jazz things should turn out great for me. 

This is good since that was my plan anyway but I had been wondering if I was trying to hard.  Now I know that I'm on the right course.  But one way or the other I can see that this is a definite tipping point in my life.

The last few days I had company so while I did my ritual work I didn't really devote time to meditating on the tarot.  My mind was/is other places.  However, good news for me in life as I got a rather decent raise at work.  Not only that but my raise is retroactive over a few months so next paycheck will be nice.  I already my eyes on a few places I want it to go but mainly it is time to round out my library.  I have decided that while electronic copies of many of my books are nice and portable I have trouble studying them.

Tomorrow I am heading out to the mall with some friends and we are definitely hitting the B&N and my favorite used bookstore.  The main two books I'm aiming to grab are 777, The Book of Thoth and Gems From The Equinox.  If I have leftover money one or two books from Israel Regardie.  It's time to fill out that library.

Also I am condering the purchase of a wand.  So far I have been practicing without a wand but when doing my Enochian work a wand would be helpful.   I know there are lots of people who say you need to make it yourself but the issue with that is I live in a city.  Not really a good place to find almond wood just lying around.   But I feel that I'm lucky as a ceremonial magician.  My sense of art does not demand hand made tools or rings of gold.   As Duquette says, "If you can't do magic with a paper ring, you can't do magic with a ring of gold"

This evening I did a basic meditation and tarot pull.  The Lesser banishing ritual is pretty much set and now I focus on visualizing the angels.  I can feel their presence but am still working on seeing.  The card I pulled this evening was:

The Hermit
ATU IX
Hebrew Letter: Yod
Tree of life: Path 20

The hermit is one of my favorite cards.  Both the BOTA card and the Thoth card are full of symbolism.  He is supposed to be one of the symbols of prophecy.  You can see him illuminating the darkness with his lantern having reached the top of a mountain climb.  It suggests two things to me, the first while much of his knowledge is gained from experience there is something to be said for an elevated point of view....so to speak.  The other is that he stands alone in the dark.  I understand the solitary feeling of that as I work my way through my studies.

The thoth deck has a different image with even more symbolism. The lamp he carries is actually the light of the sun that he brings to illuminate the darkness.  He is even shaped like a Yod and he (according to what I've read) is the symbol of male creative power.  Between that and the orphic egg it's positively suggestive.

In other news I have worked my way through my 3rd lesson from BOTA.  At this point I'm on what's called the 7 steps. They seem rather basic and I grow a bit frustrated at the slow moving of the course but I'm told that's to be expected.  Soon I'll come to the Tarot and things will be more interesting.  I'm told it's worth it and when I'm done it will have a great foundation.  So I'll stick with it, I enjoy the lessons and so far it's cheaper than cable.

This evening I decided to call Aczinor.  Aczinor is a Senior of Earth and associated with Jupiter.  My ritual this evening went well.  I opened with the lesser banishing and lit some incense.  I set up my hand made holy table, sigillum Dei Aemeth, and ensigns of creation.  I set the tablet of Earth to the side along with my notes and began the ritual.  Everything went well, I truly felt more of a trance when I was finished with my first chants, which is what I have been going for.   After that I recited the 5th call and invoked Aczinor by first calling out to him, then addressing the hierarchy down to him.  Every time I said his name I traced the letters on the tablet before me.

At first there was nothing.  I do not have a dark mirror yet so I scry with my eyes closed and listen.  I felt chills go up and down my arms and back but then nothing.  Feeling that something needed to be done I began the call again but was interrupted when I heard, "There is no need for that."  It wasn't harsh, just matter of fact.  Below is the rest of our rather short session:

M: Are you here, Aczinor?
A: I am, there was no need for the second call
M:I apologize. 
A: You worry too much
M: How do you show yourself in my life? (there was a pause here.  I was frankly, unsure what to ask.  So I went with a standard question)
A: I am the strength you need.  I show you what you need to become.
M:What I need to become? 
A: Yes.  I watch over you and show you what you need to become in order to endure what is to come
M: Will I have more hardships than average? 
A:No more and no less than any child of our God.  But you will find me in the more and in the less
M:I thank you for coming to speak with me.   
A:And I bless you, child.  Use my strength, I offer it to you.

With that I gave him more thanks and license to depart.  I said my closing prayer of thanks to God and collected my thoughts.

I felt good after the working.  Not necessarily energized just....good.   I feel embarrased that we didn't converse longer but I was a bit startled by his presence.  Throughout our conversation I felt tingling in my arms and on my neck.  That feeling you get when you suddenly get to talk to your boss about something you weren't expecting.   And to be honest, I wasn't sure what to expect.  With my first working being so mixed I had no idea this would feel so....present. 

The "endure what is to come" part creeped me out a little but He seems to believe that I have nothing more to worry about than usual.  So I'll chalk that up as a good sign.  Also, when he told me to  use his strength I could feel all the muscles in my body grow warm and strong.  Like those few moments in a good workout.   They lasted only for a moment and then were gone.  I shall have to remember to take him up on his offer.

Enochian Magic is quickly becoming my favorite form of magic.  For an apartment dweller like myself it is a lot easier to use the Holy Table than it is to create the circle and the triangle.  But being on Lon Milo DuQuette's email list I was fortunate enough to see this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vOrmTIV9qk

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S00Uu_4XwXk

Here he is reading from his latest book Enochian Vision Magic and in the second reading it shows his equipment including the Holy Table of Art.   At the very least you get to hear the enochian language pronounced and see the table and symbols

I've received my first packet of lessons from BOTA and have subscribed to a paul foster case mailing list.  When I got the packet I was greeted with an introduction, 3 lessons, and an initiation ceremony.  The lessons are to be done one a week and it is taking every ounce of effort to not break into the second lesson already. 

This evening I performed the ritual for initation.  I was fortunate that at the moment I have incense though green tea incense really isn't the most magical incense I can think of, I'm still looking for a new place to get incense.  The ritual was decently simple but felt powerful.  When done I was left with the refreshing feeling I get after a good working.  I'm excited to continue my studies and comment on them here, a little bummed about how long it will take me to get to the sections on tarot but, patience virtue, all that.  

At any rate, no tarot contemplation this evening.  I accediently put a box of my stuff in the bottom of the closet so....I'm going to wait until tomorrow to get that all out.  In the mean time I'm making plans to on my next Enochian working.  At this point I'm debating between starting with the 30th Aethyr or trying the Senior of Earth.  I'm leaning towards the senior of earth but we shall see.  I'm spending more time meditating on it to see what feels right.

I decided to do my usual evening working in the morning.   Oye the distractions that were visted upon me. The day is overcast so far and the air is cool and humid. 

Greeting the day with the morning adoration I then performed the LBR.  As I'm doing this I can hear someone doing work in the hallway of my apartment building which is very distracting.  I stop and decide to relax and wait for him to finish.  He does and so I begin again.  I'm about to finish the LBR and my phone rings.  Not my personal phone, which is off, but my on-call phone which I can't turn off.  Awesome.  Not only that but it was a wrong number.   I put it down, clear my head and start again.  This third time was the charm.  I performed a good feeling banishing and a very energizing Middle Pillar and then mediated on the Tarot.

Today I studied Atu XIV
The Art
Path 25

I really love all of crowley's symbolism and how lady harris is able to use her artistic ability.  I love the flashback to the lovers in the half and half woman/man of The Art. My first impressions is that she is so focused she has no idea that I'm even there.  A lot of the symbolism is pretty obvious with her combining fire and water and having them be together in harmony.  Crowley goes even further with alchemy symbolism but that really isn't my focus at the moment but it is hard to escape with this card.

In random news I have decided to join the Builders of the Adytum. Having read more works of Mr. Case and talking to a Brother of mine who has done some of the work I think this is a good idea. I've signed up for 2 months and am supposed to receive my first lesson by next week. I would be lying if I said I wasn't stupidly excited. I love the idea of getting a structured education in the tarot and qabalah.

Moving on, I was talking to my friend today about a rather interesting site that deserves sharing: http://www.luckymojo.com.  She runs a very interesting site full of fun information including a lot of interesting things on I Ching.  I admit that is a form of divination that I have neglected for far too long.  Not only did Crowley write high praise of it but my friend designed a very interesting and "portable" system for performing it.  This two dice method struck me as interesting, not only because it uses a d20 (as all gamers love) but illustrates the flexability of the system.  Definitely worth a look see.

Deciding to get back into the swing of things in my new apartment I decided to go with a basic Lesser Banishing and a tarot meditation.   The banishing went well and for the card I drew:

Adjustment
Atu: VIII

She is path 22 on the tree of life.  Adjustment and justice, justice and adjustment.  Perhaps I am still too new at this to pull as much significance from this card as I should.  Seemingly symbolizing Maat, I don't see much more to it than that.  Her scales hold the alpha and omega through which I can see that all things are balanced through her.  The card feels busy to me but if were in charge of making sure all that is in existence is balanced I would probably be quite busy as well.  I understand the significance of this card but perhaps I'm hoping for more than that.  Maybe that in itself means I don't completely get it.  I will definitely have to devote some time to this.

Posts have once again been sporadic here but I assure you, I am still here.  I have just moved to a new apartment and things have been kind of hectic trying to get everything moved and done.  However, the move is definitely worth it.  Time to get away from the apartment I had in undergrad and move to something a bit better. 

I did contact Opana again in a better performed ritual.  I recorded the workings in my paper journal but that is still packed so the specifics are hazy.  However the experience itself was unforgettable.  From what I remember I saw a faceless human form, hard to tell if it was male or female from the visual but the voice was female.  She made her presence known and when I asked her name she spoke it.  I was so shaken I couldn't remember the questions I had thought of asking beforehand.  She seemed to sense my nervousness and told me to not worry for I was no longer just studying but now doing great works.  And it is through trying that we make ourselves into what we are truly supposed to be.  I thanked her for her kind words and asked if she had advice for my workings.   She told me to form a more concrete plan for my workings and once my life was more settled to put that plan into action, but it was important to not rush this "great work". 

I have since been debating what to do. I am leaning towards visiting the seniors of the tables and doing my work that way though part of me is drawn to working through the Aethyrs as Crowly did.  I will hopefully have everything done in my current place in the next day or so and can begin my daily workings again.  Once I have that rhythm set I will, hopefully, have decided.  Though I am open to opinions on which way to go. 

As an aside I have never felt anything as powerful or as lasting than doing this kind of work.  I was not afraid of my work but the feelings I was left with were powerful.  An almost....otherworldly feeling that lasted into the next day.  Whether this comes from the vision or from change in myself, I am not sure yet.  I am excited to see how things progress.   A friend of mine suggested that I look into the creation or purchase of a dark mirror to help my scrying.  I'm positive it isn't necessary but it may add clarity to my visions.

This evening was my first enochian working.  I began at 11 pm and the moon is still very close to full.  The weather outside is calm and cool with no wind.

Working: Opana

The working itself was a mixture of screw ups and success.  I think I as over excited when I began.  I took my altar and setup my Holy Table.  From there I put the Sigillum Dei Aemeth in the center and lit two candles.  I stood up and performed a horrible banishing.  I forgot the words, I used them at the wrong times but eventually made my way through.  All the way to my prayers...."Behold the ring!"  and as I went to put on my ring I realized I didn't have it....it was no longer sitting on the table.  I looked everywhere and couldn't find it.  I eventually had to leave the table, go turn on the lights and search for it only to find that it had fallen under the couch....fantastic. 

At this point I just started over.  The second time went much smoother.  I read the call and recited the hierarchy of angels all leading to Opana.  Opana is a minor angel who can be found on the Earth tablet in the earth quadrant.  After this I began to scry, at first there was nothing.  I repeated the name several times and suddenly I was taken through a swirrling vortex of different colors.  Everything was very hazy but I could sense another presence in front of me, looking right at me.  I could just barely make out facial features.  At this point I was a bit nervous and....well honestly I was just plane scared.  But the face simply smiled and I felt a sense of comfort wash over me.  It was at this point a very strange thought popped into my head, "You should try again in a week".  Well....who am I to argue?  I thanked the spirit and expressed my gratitude.  I thanked god and then performed a better banishing ritual.

Personal Notes:  I'm honestly surprised I had any reaction to this at all considering the mistakes I made but even so I am overjoyed at these tame results.  I chose Opana because opamn is a minor angel and very little is written about him.  I didn't want to have my mind poisoned with outside thoughts, so to speak.  After the working I felt refreshed and a bit energized which is always a good sign when doing this kind of thing.  Or so I'm told.   I honestly think that Opana was happy with the effort and sincerity of my work.  Every item was constructed by me by hand and you have to start somewhere.  And while woried it was nice to be reassured that I've got what I'm supposed to be doing down.  I just need more confidence.  I am going to take Opana's advice and simply read my calls and practice my workings for a week before attempting to call him again.  Perhaps next time I can get a cleaner image. 

My journal writing stopped but I have not stopped.  Last week I was on vacation and for those of you who don't know me, I live in Iowa.  And for those of you who don't get much news, Iowa is pretty much underwater.  So I've been busy sandbagging and helping friends.  I hope to return to this very soon.  I have just finished Lon Milo Duquette's new book on Enochian Magic and I am excited.  I'd read the enochian initiation book by Frater W.I.T. but found the system rather formidable.  However, after reading Duquette's book and system that he uses I think I have a fairly good understanding of how to do the workings. 

I have begun assembling the items needed for the ritual, it will probably take some time but I am looking forward to the results.

Evening Working
This evening I opened with QC and followed by the LBRP using the protention from Poke Runyon....I will touch on this more latter.  I then did my tarot reading and meditated upon Atu 13 Death.  Death is associated with the hebrew letter Nun (fish) and corresponds to path 24 joining Tiphareth (beauty) to Netzach (victory).  A strange sort of combination one would think.

The Thoth Tarot has a very different death card than other decks.  Where other decks have Death thoughtlessly killing things in the Thoth deck he appears to be almost dancing.  Stirring up life with his scyth and wearing what appears to be the crown of Osiris. According to Crowley, death and putrefaction are the original male secret god.  Without going into the alchemy behind it I can see where they're coming from though I'm not entirely convinced.  Of course that is probably due to my still small level of knowledge. 

Protection
Tonight I used a variation of the LBRP that focuses on protection.  It goes like this

Raphael, protect me from the perils of wind and plague . .
Michael, protect me from the dangers offire and fury. ..
Gabriel, protect me from the threat offlood and storm. . .
Auriel, protect me (us) and what is mine  from theft, injury, accident or destruction."

Again visualize AMShO
(ShMAT) above and say: "Ah Mah Sha Oh" protect me (us) from above and below and within and without. "

I changed AMShO to the holy name of Jehovah which is also the name I use when forming the pentagrams.  I think the idea and ritual are solid but I don't like the order.  I prefer the normal order when calling the angels.   Before me R, Behind me G, on my right hand M, on my left hand A.  That whole thing.   I think if i change the order to fall in line with the way the ritual originally designed I will be more comfortable with it.  But as a whole I liked it.  It is probably a good idea to do a protection calling before doing any sort of contemplation of mediatation.

Evening Working

First the working for this evening.  I had taken a break from my meditation on the Tarot while I worked on making my rituals more accurate word wise and perfecting my visualization of the middle pillar ritual.  Neither of which are spot on perfect but I'm much more comfortable with them now.  This evening I did the normal opening and for my card I pulled The Sun.    (I should mention that I use the Thoth tarot for all my meditations).

I was unable to do any scrying with this card and in all honesty haven't been able to get the scrying effect that I got with my first card The Magus.  However I found the card interesting.  Yet another card I knew very little about before now. It is the hebrew letter Resh (head) and is the path 30 which connects Hod (splendor) with Yesod (Foundation).  Rather fitting I think.  I did some reading from both Duquette and Crowley and find the whole idea of the Sun card interesting.  When I first saw this card, I remember that I thought of Crowley's words, "Every man and woman is a star".  The sun contains both active and passive elements and combines these.  I believe that each one of us, truly deep inside is a solar being.  It's interesting that it combines both duality and unity.

The two dancing children at the bottom are supposed to be us, mankind, when we obtain this in ourselves.  Male and female dancing together in the light that our solar insides creates.   I also think this is us now, or at least part of us and speaks to our true freedom.  Of course, it could also be nothing like that. =)


Thoughts on other things. 

I recieved the information from BOTA the other day and have made the decision to join their school.  The work I have seen from them is fantastic and while one of my friends refers to it as "spoon feeding" I think of it more as being an actual school.  Besides there really isn't a good place for an Occultist like myself to go these days.  Any golden dawn group is run by crooks, the O.T.O. has poor leadership not in line with the beliefs of Thelema....also...I'm not a thelemite.  And the Temple of Set....well they seem to be mostly left over Thule society people.  Mostly Nazis.  At least that's my take on them.   So BOTA seems like the best way I can get some structured education. 

In other news I'm beginning to see some "astral trash" in my life.  Only visual and I usually find it amusing.  It surprised me the first time but it really only seems to be small things.  I've talked with some others about this and it is aparently to be expected and as long as it's not hurting anything I'm more than fine with it.


New Ritual

Today I began working with a variation of the Lesser Banishing Ritual.  This is supposed to be a daily empowerment....we shall see.
It mirrors the LBRP except that you are invoking and as the archangels are added the following petitions are tacked on to them.  "Raphael grant me perfect health and wisdom.....Michael grant me creative force and energy....Gabriel grant me unlimited love and sensitivity....Auriel grant me boundless love and prosperity. "

I look forward to seeing how this variation affects my life

So I've been reading Runyons book on Soloman's Magick.  I find that his system is interesting though I am still not 100% sold on the idea of placing the triangle of art on a pedestal in the air so that you can gaze into it.  And while I feel that there is not enough original thought in modern occult thinking but we must also be careful to stray too far from the ritual, otherwise it isn't ritual.  I think it really depends on what you are seeking from ritual magick.  But that's another thought for another time.

The book (which so far is proving VERY interesting) aside....I began watching his DVD.  The DVD pretty much echo's the book.... verbatim in some places.  And while the book goes much further in depth than the movie the movie shows some ritual.  What i was surprised by was the quickness and almost lack of reverence in performing both the Qabalistic Cross and the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram.  I could be wrong since i only got to see it performed and heard no commentary about it. 

But the impression i got was that this was just a formality.  Something that was needed to be done before beginning the good stuff.  When talking about the Lesser Ritual of the Pentagram Crowley had this to say,
" Those who regard this ritual as a mere device to invoke or banish spirits, are unworthy to possess it.  Properly understood, it is a Medicine of Metals and the Stone of the wise."

Those who blow through the Qabalistic cross and the Lesser Ritual are missing some of the most subtle, beautiful and powerful rituals of our art.   This is not to say anything bad about Runyon and his work, it is simply an important lesson that I need to keep in mind.

A thought I really don't want to forget.  I was speaking to one of my Brothers today about some of the similarities and differences between the Golden Dawn, the O.T.O. and our beloved Freemasonry.  Eventually the discussion came around to the group calling themselves The Open Source Golden Dawn. 

Freemasonry is kind of like Open Source Christianity or spirituality depending on how you look at it.  And while the OTO and the Golden Dawn don't say that they make Masons (even though they used to say they did), Freemasonry does not say that we make Christians.  Both organizations equip their members with the working tools that they need. 

Thinking back the goals of the institutions it boils down to the fact that no organization can make you something.  Instead it is up to the individual what he will make of his or herself. 

Randomly, I have gotten my hands on a copy of Poke Runyon's book on Solomanic magick.  I am very interested to see how his system differs from that of the Dr. Rudd.